The emoterang tadpoles

Saw this SMS exchange between my spawns as the drama anthology continues. [verbatim]

Andrea: This morning we got to hold baby turtles and freed them.
Taling: That’s nice.
Andrea: They were so cool.
Taling: Okay are you having fun?
Andrea: Yeah how about you?
Taling: I’m crying cause I miss you (
Andrea: Last night I could not sleep
Taling: Why?
Andrea: Cause I missed you.
Taling: Okay
Andrea: I am going to go to a crocodile farm
Taling: I’m scared.
Andrea: It is okay. I won’t be eaten.

And the award for best dramatic actress in a reality show goes to…

Andrea and her (insert nega adjective here) father

My brother reminded me of a conversation of a two year old Andrea with her father.

Andrea: Panget ka.
Kulot: Hindi. Gwapo daddy mo.
Andrea: Hindi.
Kulot: Sabihin mo gwapo daddy mo ha.
Andrea: Sige.
Kulot: Sino na ngayon ang panget?
Andrea: Yung gwapo.

Yan ang logic. I swear, she really had potential even then :-p

For my girlfriends.

Ang Alamat ng Regla

Interesting discussion last night before bedtime.

Andrea: Mum, why does the private part of the girl start bleeding when she’s older?
Bading Mother: It’s not bleeding per se, cos there’s no wound. It’s called a monthly period. That’s when the egg from the ovary is discharged.
Taling: EGG??!! OMG, isn’t that for birds? We have it too?
Bading Mother: It’s an egg cell, that’s what it’s called. It doesn’t look like the one you scramble for breakfast, Natalie.
Taling: I wonder how it looks like then.
Bading Mother: I guess it’s round, a triangle egg would be weird. Anyway, I don’t think it can be seen by the naked eye.
Taling: NAKED???
Andrea: Yeah, like you’ve seen eyes that are dressed up Natalie. Duh. It just means it’s your eyes without the help of something else, like a microscope or a telescope.
Taling: Fine. Naked eye is just weird.

My daughter, my pet

Andrea: Muuuuuum! Can you do something with Natalie??!!!
Bading Mother: Natalie, you do not have paws. That means do not lick your hand as if it were paws. Ang puh-leeeeeze, stop licking your sister. That is not an act of affection!
Taling: Ok. But can she smell my breath instead? Smell my breath Andrea! Haaaaaaah!

Hay lord.

Lovingly Yours, Bading Mother

Again, hindi ikabababa ng karir mo kung nagtatagalog ka lagi sa status or tweet mo. Pero nakakasakit ka ng kapwa kung ingles ka ng ingles at di ko alam san ko sisimulan iwasto ang pangungusap mo. Ibang level yan sa mga jejemon na alpha numeric mag spell at nakakaduling ang upper at lower cases.

Sabi nga ni Sam Narrazid, pag ako nag status ng ganon katindi, handa syang magpakamatay para lang dalawin ako.

Competitive Froglet

Andrea: Mum! Natalie wants to win all the time!
Taling: So?
Andrea: Isn’t it that when you race, the last one is the rotten egg?
Bading Mother: Yes.
Andrea: Well, she says the first one is the rotten egg and the last one is the winner just because she’s the slowest! She’s just soooo … rotten.

And Taling was smiling, too.

A visit to Calvin Klein

While at CK Underwear, Taling exclaimed,

Taling: Andrea, touch this! It’s sooo soft! (while running her hand on the crotch of a pair of men’s briefs)
Andrea: Eeeew! Look where her hand is mum!
Taling: So?! It’s soft! And smooth!
Andrea: I just hope it’s still untouched by the body part that’s supposed to go there.

Mabuti naman sana kung hindi mataas decibel levels nila.

The biggest challenge yet

Sam (my college friend) suggested that I play a game of 20 questions with the spawns. 20 questions for the entire day at 10 each. One Sunday morning, I told the spawns about it and they readily said yes without realizing the dangers of the game.

Bading Mother: I suggest you write the questions you made.
Taling: My question is “Do monsters exist?”
Bading Mother: No.
Taing: How do you spell exist?
Bading Mother: E-X-I-S-T
Taling: What?
Bading Mother: That’s 3 questions already Natalie.
Andrea: This is such a hard game! Why would Sam do this to us?
Bading Mother: That’s one.
Andrea: Ugh. I hate this! I want to make Sam miserable! It’s so hard to stop myself! I hate Sam! Natalie, ask me a question and I ask you my questions. Don’t ask mum. She’s going to count.
Taling: Okay. Are there really angry birds?

And that was just the first two minutes.

Of short arms and tight hugs

My Taling still wants mum to carry her for a big hug. And while trying to bring her up, I noticed she was getting heavier. So to avoid breaking my back, I asked her to help me get her up.

She flapped her arms like a bird to levitate.