Irma and Tita Kris

Kris: You know why I call your mum Queen Bee? She stings!

Irma: That she does. But Tita, bees DIE after they sting. My mum just comes back after stinging especially if the idiot won’t shut up! Unlimited supply!

Me: O tapos?

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A visit to the dentist

My dentist took out one of my molars. It’s such a serious thing pala.

Doc: Girls, do the chores muna ha. Don’t let your mum do anything at home, her wound has to heal.

Irma: Oh we’re not the problem here doctor, tell that to the woman who won’t listen. *stage whisper* She’s the one who just lost a tooth.

Height issues

Me: Did you see the new kid?

Irma: You mean the tree?

Me: Ang harsh!

Irma: C’mon mum, he makes Maureen look short. And Maureen is what, 6ft? What kind of potatoes are they eating in Germany????

Movie Review

We watched Thor Ragnarok.

Taling: No offence but Hela reminded me of you, mummy.

Irma: Right? If only she were curvier…

Taling: And taller…

Irma: With boobs…

Taling: But her character is spot on, just saying.

 

Buhay pa naman sila, gais.

Commas save lives

Taling was eating kiat kiat.

Irma: Peel me one child.

Taling: We’re out of children.

Irma: Don’t be a dolt. I meant peel me one, child.

Taling: See how commas save lives?

 

What is makulit. Para talaga kaming reality show sa bahay.

Just another day at home

I didn’t realise I was staring into space and right at Taling’s direction.

Irma: Mum you okay? You look serious.

Me: I’m okay.

Taling: She’s okay, Andrea. She probably just can’t handle my beauty.

Irma: Can I hit her?

Homophobia explained

Taling: Mum, what’s homophobia?

Me: That’s discrimination against homosexuals babe.

Taling: Really? All along I thought it’s fear of homes, like you know, houses. Home-o-phobia.

 

Nanette Inventor.