Usapan sa Car Pauwi ng Maynila.

Irma: How much would you betray me for?

Taling: I guess it depends on the betray. Will you be doing a high five and I dodge it? Cos I’d be doing that for 5 pesos.

Irma: Think bigger, twerp.

Taling: How much then?

Irma: Like 1 million dollars.

Taling: Ah. Now we’re talking. I’d be okay cheating with your boyfriend, I think.

Irma: Ha! I knew it. I’d understand though. The exchange rate these days… but will you share?

Taling: Of course!

Irma: Okay, we good.

Taling: But what do you think of 1 billion?

Irma: Maybe that’s equivalent to something life threatening. Like we pop mummy on the chin.

Taling: Sorry mum, I think I’ll pop you about 5 times for that money.

 

Dapat ba akong matuwa at nag apologise na sya in advance?

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Hinay hinay sa big words.

Me: We had a dog named Spotty before. What’s cool about him was that he had blue and green eyes.

Taling: Oh wow, he had heterochromia! That’s awesome.

So now alam ko na tawag don, gais.

So we Taiwan-ed

Paano mawalan ng poise and maibalik ito in 4 seconds. Salamat sa documentation ng impaktang Irma.

Attending a Baptism with the Spawns

Eh walang tao.

Me: Are we in the right place? Where are the relatives?

Irma: Where are the babies?

Taling: Where’s the bowl?

Me: What do you mean bowl?

Irma: The baby dipping bowl. You know? That one.

Lordt. Para pong fondue.

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Something about politics

Irma: Du30 doesn’t like the VP right?

Me: Yeah. He took her out of the Cabinet first chance he got.

Irma: Ah that’s what it is. Cabinet. I thought it was called Closet.

Why they should never get a vote on my superhero name

Me: Ugh. I hate this static electricity thingie. Nakukuryente ako lagi!

Taling: Maybe you’re a superhero and you’re just getting to know your powers.

Irma: Or maybe she’s a super villain and she’s named Midlife Crisis.

Saktan ko kaya tong panganay?

Google is your friend, gais.

Irma: The Ferrandons will be invigilating our IGCSEs.

Me: Andrea, please. Hinay hinay sa big words, inaantok kaluluwa ko. Who uses invigilating in a sentence?!

Irma: It’s the proper term, mummy. Don’t be like that.

Red wine ata kailangan ko.